It's a Frog's Life
by Relativity1953
Summary: A frog's eye view of Bedtime Stories.  spoilers for the episode, don't read if you don't want to be spoiled


So, this kinda sucks out loud. I mean, I figured with the girl... um... gone that the curse would be gone as well. Don't get me wrong, I totally feel bad for what the kid went through and all, but she's finally moved on... happily. You know, with the knowledge that her dad knows the truth about the wicked step-mother. So, um... why am I still a frog?

It's not even like I'm really a prince. But, I guess that in this day and age... um, and country... it's hard to find the proper royalty and all. So, I suppose in the kid's mind Jeremy Prince was close enough. Wrong place, wrong time, definitely wrong surname for me.

I kinda remember Callie from school. I was a couple years older than she was, but it's not like you could really forget the biggest tragedy to ever happen at Maple Springs Elementary. I'm sure in other, larger towns, the story would have gotten lost amid car accidents, kidnapped children, and a variety of other awful things that happen to kids and make the community at large mourn the loss. But, Maple Springs was and still is a small town. We didn't really have any of that other stuff to dilute poor Callie's story.

Everyone knew about the girl's constant string of strange illnesses, of her frequent absences from school, of her sad and quiet pale face and haunted eyes. And then, I still remember the day that Principal Burrows made the announcement that Callie was sick, more sick than she had ever been, that she was in the hospital, and that we were all to keep her and her family in our thoughts (_and prayers_ was omitted, as it was a public school, but the intension was still there).

I remember the day that Dr. and Mrs. Garrison came to the school, all red eyes and sniffles, when Principal Burrows had a plaque hung in the entryway of the school with Callie's picture and a short plea for her health to be returned. I wonder if the plaque is still there.

And it's not like I forgot or anything. Sure, the talk and sad stories die down over the years, but it's not something that a Maple Springs resident would ever completely forget. Didn't exactly hide the shock of seeing the kid in the laundry room of my apartment complex. Yeah, at first I was just startled when I turned on the lights and found a little girl standing in the middle of the room, staring at me. The real surprise came when I realized who she was, and that she hadn't aged a day in ten years.

It was about that time that I passed out. Yeah, I'm man enough to admit it.

When I came to, I felt really weird, which I attributed to the fact that I had never actually passed out before and it must be natural to feel so weird. The second thing I noticed was that, when I managed to sit up, I felt a lot shorter than normal. I mean, I'm not the tallest guy in the world, but 6' 1" ain't exactly tiny.

But, what really made me gulp was when I saw that I wasn't alone in the laundry room. Judy, from 4B, was standing almost over me, moving clothes from a washer to a dryer, and didn't seem to see I was there. I mean, sure, I know she is totally out of my league, but she didn't seem the type of girl to completely ignore an unconscious person in favor of drying her unmentionables. But then, she didn't seem to notice Callie standing next to her either.

I gulped again, a bit louder this time, and Judy finally noticed me. She looked down, way down, saw me and screamed. I tried to call after her as she ran out of the laundry room, but my voice wouldn't come out right. I hopped after her...

Did I just say _hopped_?

There's a full-length mirror in the laundry room for some reason. I never asked why. I... hopped... over to it and gulped – really loudly – at my reflection. Callie was standing behind me, looking at me with her sad eyes. I turned around to face her, but she wasn't there anymore. It was about that time that I passed out again. Yeah, again – and I'm frog enough to admit it.

So, I became the first Callie-induced fairy tale character. She appeared to me a few more times, but I was a tad freaked out and ran... hopped away. I didn't know what to do, so I tried to play the story out. Something about being kissed and turning human again. I tried to find Judy and talk her into it, but I soon realized that _talking_ was out of the question. I'm pretty sure that the frog in the story talked.

Anyway, I hopped all around town, stopping at every woman or girl I saw. I even started jumping into laps. I was so desperate, I found the local group of stoner kids. Apparently, they had either never heard the rumors about licking frogs having a psychoactive effect or they knew too well that I was not the correct type of toad for such a high.

I was pretty depressed at that point. Soon, I found myself at the side of Maple Street, the main road through town. I was about to play my own live-action version of Frogger when the big, black muscle car came rolling into town. I was about to jump out in front of the car when I saw Callie standing on the other side of the road. She was looking at the car with something close to thankfulness, relief, hope in her usually sad eyes.

After the car passed, I hopped over to her. She looked down at me with the slightest of smiles on her face. She knew I wasn't going to hop away, just as she knew that the people in that black car could help her. And I was ready to do what I could to help her, too.

Of course, there's not a lot you can do when you can't speak to people. Or, you're a frog.

I was starting to think that the guys from the car would never see me. I had placed myself in their path so many times, only to have them walk right over or around me. Then, at last they saw me. And they knew I was no ordinary frog.

Of course, that was also when they ran off to find the Callie-induced Cinderella in a house with a pumpkin and mouse on the front porch. But, the shorter dude also saw Callie. Who turned into an apple. Good thing the taller guy was pretty current on his fairy tales. If it was me, I would never have guessed the meaning behind the transformation.

But, it all worked out in the end. Little Red Riding Hood was saved from the big, bad wolf. Dr. Garrison finally understood that Callie was poisoned by her step-mother. The dude also stopped reading his daughter crazy fairy tales and let her go peacefully. And I...

OK, yeah, things didn't exactly work out for me. Callie's gone, and so are the guys from the big, black car. And I'm still a frog with no one the wiser, and apparently, no one has even noticed. I'm a little upset by that – I mean, there aren't even any "have you seen this guy" posters around.

Ah well... on the bright side, I don't have to pay rent anymore. I can hop around the town naked as the day I was born. And, I've noticed some of the female frogs checking me out. So, I guess I'll just live it up until I change back. I can think of worse ways to spend my time than sitting and sunbathing at the pond all day.

Just, no Kermit jokes. Please?


End file.
